


It's Gettin Hot in Herre, So Take Off All Your Bones

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: McKirk - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Stripper Bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 03:09:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1250488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones wants the crew to take part in a stripping auction for charity. Not everyone is on board with his plan.</p><p>“We’re gonna strip Jim.” Bones blurted out, horrified.</p><p>“Just you and me Bones or everyone?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Gettin Hot in Herre, So Take Off All Your Bones

There is nothing Leonard Horatio McCoy, M.D., PhD hates more than monthly senior staff meetings on board the Enterprise. He’s a doctor dammit, not a secretary, but he sits and takes copious notes on his PADD none-the-less, tapping his stylus impatiently on his knee when not writing. He hates listening to Sulu ramble on and on about plants, new strain of wheat this and frost resistant corn, that. He hates listening to Chekov butchering the English language, with his “wery vell, Keptin” or whatever the fuck he is saying. Leo hates accents so thick you have to cut them with a knife. Who has time to understand that shit anyway?

The thing McCoy hates even more than listening to the ramblings of his colleagues is when it’s his turn. “What news from medical, Bones?” Jim Kirk asked.

“We’re gonna strip Jim.” Bones blurted out, horrified.

“Just you and me Bones or everyone?”

What Bones hates more than all of the other things he painstakingly hates is when his cock gets ahead of his lust-fevered brain. It’s not his fault really, if Jim’s eyes weren’t so bright, so blue, so alive, he’d be able to control his wayward cock enough to function like a normal human being. He had practiced his sales pitch in the mirror for an hour last night. Outlined the pros and cons, even took notes, dammit, on how he would present this idea to Jim and the others and in the space of one innocent look from his blue-eyed Captain it had all gone to shit.

“All of us, Jim.”

Kirk stood up, the very devil himself dancing in his eyes. He grabbed the hem of his command gold tunic and started to tug it upward. “I’ll just lead by example then, Bones.”

“Dammit Jim, stop right there.” Bones could feel his cock harden in an instant, pressing dangerously against his zipper.  If he hadn’t been so damn busy thinking about stripping, he would have remembered to do his damn laundry, therefore avoiding the need to go commando today. The sight of Jim’s furry stomach and hardened abs melted his brain. Bones felt his traitorous cock urge him to stand the fuck up and fuuuuuuuck. ‘Get it together McCoy,’ Bones yelled at himself, furious that he was unable to listen to the insanity his cock was preaching to him.

“You said we were all gonna strip Bones, what kind of Captain would I be if I didn’t go first?”  The smirk on Jim’s face was lethal. He added insult to injury by daring to wink at his CMO.

‘Christ on a cracker’ Bones moaned in his own head as he felt his cock twitch against his zipper. He tapped his PADD and threw his hand forward so the holo-vid he’d saved would run on the screen in the conference room. “We’re not strippin now, Jim. We’re all takin part in the First Annual, ‘Drop Your Pants’ auction to benefit The Genesis Foundation For Children.  It’s a charity that devotes itself to researching complex genetic disorders in children.”

The conference room erupted at that statement. Chairs suddenly flew backward as Uhura and Scotty scrambled to their feet, everyone was shouting at once. Various cries of “No fuckin way” and “Over my dead body” could be heard. Chekov was asking if Sulu knew stripping had been inwented by a little old lady in Leningrad. Spock stayed seated, his chin however was sitting in his lap, his mouth was gaping open and closed like a fish out of water. Bones could feel the tenuous hold on his control slipping away and was a few seconds from going nuclear. He chanced a look at Jim who had also remained seated, a look of pure delight on his face as he surveyed the de-evolution of his senior bridge staff. “OKAY everyone, that’s enough.” Jim called out. “Let’s all behave like rational adults, so that Bones can explain his latest bout of mental illness.”

 ‘Jesus wept, with friends like these,’ Bones mumbled to himself,  as he worked his hormone crazed brain for a way to leave the room with six yes votes in his favor rather than six people agreeing to burn him in effigy. Which, come to think of it, was it even possible to start a fire on a starship? Bones didn’t think so, but he knew Scotty would find a way. “Thanks Jim. Just watch the promo on the screen.”  He tapped his PADD again and the screen filled with sick kids. ‘Who in hell doesn’t wanna help sick kids?’ Bones thought, ‘my damn friends, that’s who.’  Leo noticed the guilty looks that passed across the faces of his friends as the parade of cherub-faced kids continued. No one was looking at each other, at least not until the moment loud, twangy music began to pound out from the screen and there was a particularly stacked, shirtless man in ass-less chaps swinging his hips to the old country song, Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy.  When Ass-less Chaps finished his dance he leaned in close to the camera and whispered, “Leave your money and your pants behind.”

 “Boy Howdy.” Sulu said and this brought a wave of laughter from the others.

Bones could feel his ever-present erection twitch as he pictured Jim in ass-less chaps, cowboy hat sitting low over his eyes. He could almost feel Jim’s hands ghosting over his skin. He knew if he didn’t do something soon, this case of blue balls would kill him and he refused to be the first CMO in Starfleet history to have died from such an easily treatable malady. Bones let out a soft moan as he managed to shift positions in his seat, a delicious thrill running through him as his aching cock found a bit of friction. It was never enough, could never be enough, not without his captain’s lips wrapped around his thick-

“Booooones?”

Busted. ‘Well fuck me sideways.’ “Yes, Jim?”

The captain raised an eyebrow and smirked at Bones’ obvious discomfort, though thank Christ Jim had no idea how uncomfortable things were in his pants just now. “So, Bones, if I understand this correctly, based on that extremely…pants optional holo-vid,  you want us all to strip, on stage in front of people and then based on the quality of the way we shake our money-maker get auctioned off to the highest bidder like cattle in a stockyard?”

“Now, Jim…”

“Captain,” Commander Spock interrupted, “I would point out as this auction is for charity, it would certainly make the lives of sick children as well as their families more manageable and pleasant. I would be willing to shake what my maternal parent gave me as a means of doing my part to assist these unfortunate people.”

Bones quickly ran through the signs and symptoms of a stroke. No parts of his body were suddenly weak, his cock was tingling, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t stroke related, check. He blinked several times to make sure his vision was still clear, yup, okay there, check, check. He quirked his lips upward into a grimacing smile, check, check, check. The last thing on the list was his ability to speak. Bones opened his mouth and a small croak came out. Well, Jesus Christ and all the Saints in Heaven, it wasn’t a stroke, Spock was on his side. If he lived to be a hundred and fifty, he would never forget this day. Maybe he should give Spock more of a chance, take him out for a beer sometime and get to know him better.

“I would further add, Captain, this situation is rather fortuitous in that you have been without female companionship for several solar months, perhaps the lithe movements of your well-toned physique would be of interest to the women who will undoubtedly attend your performance.”

He was going to kill the green-blooded hobgoblin and he would enjoy every fuckin moment of-

“Boooones?”

Leo felt the muscle over his left eye spasm, also felt the beginnings of a headache pounding at the base of his skull. “Yes, Jim?” His voice sounded weary. It may have only been 0930, but he needed a drink, some clean underwear and five fuckin minutes alone to take care of his raging hard on, well fine, two minutes then, if Bones was being honest with himself, as the vision of Jim in ass-less chaps swam back into his consciousness.

“Nice to have you back with us _Doctor_ , now if we all agree to this, this…”

“It’s insanity, tha’s wha’ it bloody is, insanity and I for one, will no’ be shakin what my mother ga’ me for anyone, no’ even for you, Jim. I refuse. RE-fuse”

It occurred to Bones in that moment he was an evil bastard not above using the tools at hand to get what he wants, dammit. “Here’s how it’s gonna go, people. We’re doin this charity event. Every. Last. One. Of. Us. We’re gonna dance, take our clothes off and make money t’help sick kids, or s’help me GOD, ya’ll are gettin extra CMO mandated physicals, vaccines for diseases not even discovered yet and weekly rectal exams from the most ham-fisted man on my medical staff. All in favor?”

Six hands shot immediately into the air.

****

Later that night Bones, finally with a clean pair of boxer briefs, sat in his quarters, a glass of Evan Williams in one hand, his long-suffering cock in the other. His head was thrown back against the cushion of the sofa and he could once again see Jim dancing on stage. Instead of ass-less chaps, Jim was wearing a fireman’s helmet and very brief boy shorts with the word “HOSE” and a downward pointing arrow written across his gyrating pelvis. Leo’s hand sped up as he felt the familiar tingle in his lower back, felt his balls tighten. “God, Jim.” He shouted, breathless, as his cock erupted all over his hand. He reached down to the floor to grab his shirt and was in the process of wiping his hand in it when his door chimed. ‘A fuckin course, he’s early, dammit.’ “C’mon in Jim.” Bones bellowed as he made for the bathroom. Even though he and Jim had seen each other in various states of undress over the years, Leo wasn’t masochistic enough to answer the door in only his boxers.

“Bones, where are you?”

Jim thought he heard a muffled “bathroom.”

“I see you got the Evan Williams out, expensive bourbon must mean you’re celebrating. Now what in hell could my Chief Medical Officer have to celebrate? Oh yes, perhaps you’re gloating in light of your stripping coup from this morning? What’s next on your agenda Bones, a takeover of a third world planet perhaps?”

‘Well fuck me in a canoe.’ Bones knew some form of this reaction from Jim was coming. Jim was a sore loser, did he say sore loser? He meant SORE LOSER. Jim made Attila the Hun look cuddly. “Now, Jim.” Bones said as he walked out of the bathroom, wearing sleep pants and clean t-shirt.

“Don’t you ‘now Jim’ me, Bones.”

 Wait for it…

“How fucking dare you, Bones, how fucking DARE you?”

 Wait for it…

“How motherfuckingDAREYOU, bring that topic up without telling me about it before hand, and then to threaten us all with ham-fisted rectals? The fuck’s wrong with you? Spock letting the whole world know I have a terminal case of blue balls and then there’s YOU Bones, my friend…my good old pal Bonesy sitting there with a shit eating grin on your face like the whole fuckin world’s your stage.”

“Now Jim, that didn’t exactly go the way I had planned.”

“Oh, it didn’t huh? You and Spock didn’t plan for everyone to agree to your mad little scheme?”

Well fuck and double fuck. “Me an Spock?” Bones answered dumbly, because really? The thought of Bones and Spock conspiring on anything together was dumb, just plain dumb, dumb as a bag of rocks dumb.

“Am I keeping you from something, _Doctor McCoy_?”

Leo’s hand came up to rub the back of his neck, the headache he’d managed to ward off this morning with a hypo of painkillers was back in full force. “Jim, ‘m sorry I didn’t run strippin by you first, I should’ve and ‘m sorry, so sorry Jim.”

“I ought to bust you down to ensign for this Bones, I really should.”

‘Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck,’ Bones thought.

“Just fuckin with you Bones.” Jim’s smile was radiant as he slapped Bones on the back and started laughing.

“You son of a-”

“Shut up Doctor Feelgood. Pour me some of that bourbon and let’s pull up some vids of male strippers.”

Yeah, what could possibly go wrong with that plan? Two attractive, healthy men, both with terminal cases of blue balls watching nearly-nekked men with bulging muscles and hard cocks, dipping, and swirling and rolling their hips. Yup, Bones was going to need a lot more bourbon to get through this night, more bourbon and possibly a lobotomy.  “For science, Jim.” Bones said, raising his glass.

****

Bones woke up the next morning with the worst headache in the history of headaches and that was before he tried cracking one eyeball open. One of the last things he remembers with any clarity is deciding that spending the evening with his best friend, the same best friend he’s been in love with for the past three years, by the way, watching male strippers do what males strippers do, made him a candidate for a lobotomy. ‘Oh, sweet, merciful fuck,’ Bones thought. Was it possible he narrated the lobotomy steps to Jim? If he didn’t was it possible to ask him to do it now? Just then, warm, strong arms tightened around his middle and he could feel hot lips kiss the back of his neck.

“Mornin Bones.” Jim whispered into his skin.

‘I’m dead, fucking dead, that explains this. ‘M dead and this is heaven. Jim’s wrapped ‘round me like an octopus, kissin my neck and sayin good mornin. OH FUCK, does that mean Jim’s dead too, if he’s here kissin me and rubbin a hand up my chest, and OHHHH GOD, I like being dead, I really fuckin love bein dead.’

“Booooones, you’re thinkin too loud, can you keep it down, my head feels like it’s gonna crack open.”

“Are we dead Jim?” Bones whispered.

He felt Jim smile against his neck, felt Jim’s lips sear themselves into Leo’s skin like a brand. “You still drunk, old man?”

“Not drunk, jus’ wonderin how y’ended up…how we ended up…Jim, did we?”  Bones slowly managed to turn himself around in Jim’s arms.

Jim smiled and Bones would swear the wattage used in that smile alone could fuel the Enterprise for a year. “We watched vids, mimicked some of the moves until we were too drunk to stand and then went to bed like the mature, sensible adults we are.”

“Why’re y’here and not in y’own bed?”

“Because my personal physician deemed me too drunk to walk, a public menace and said something about wishing he had a fireman’s helmet.”

Oh, well, THAT explains everything…

“C’mon Bones, let’s rise and shine and meet the day.”

Uncharacteristically looking on the bright side, Bones wondered how things could possibly get any worse.

****

Things were worse, much worse than Bones could ever imagine. The problem lay in the fact that he had corpse hips. “Gaila, darlin, explain this to me again.”

“Leonard,” she cooed, smiling, “You need to learn to feel the music, to make it part of you.  Until the music is part of your soul, your hips will remain dead.”

Piece of cake.

****

It’s three days until show time and Bones has somehow managed to coax a little life into his dead hips. Hell, he does plenty of coaxing on a daily basis with another nearby body part, hello unwieldy cock! He does so much coaxing in fact he figures he should be friggen Lord of the Dance by now.

Over the last week Jim has somehow become covert. Who knew he had it in him? Bones certainly didn’t as he found out when he asked Jim what song he would be dancing to.

“That information is classified above your pay grade, Lieutenant Commander McCoy.”

OH is it now? Is it just? Bones had a plan to discover Jim’s secret, of course he had a plan. He was just going to need a little help putting it into play.

“Nyota darlin, give me a hint, please. I’m dyin here.”

“Well it’s a good thing you know where to find a doctor, Doctor McCoy.”

‘Well fuck me up a tree.’ That had not gone according to plan but he thought he knew what his next step would be: expensive bourbon. He couldn’t lose.

“Sorry, Lenny  me boyo (hiccup) I caenae tell ya aboot Jim’s act, it’s a corker, a bloody, magnificent corker.” Of course it is, and it only took two (!!!) bottles of Evan Williams to pry that out of Scotty.   NEXT!

“I vould love to be helping you, Doctor, but ze Keptin told me if I said a vord, he would make me a red-shirt for life.”

‘Well fuck me dead, that’s enough t’scare anyone silent.’ Bones thought, but seriously, why all the damn secrecy and speaking of secrecy, why in blue fuck was no one trying to find out about his “covert” act. He needed a new plan and some more bourbon, yeah, Bones was going to need a lot of bourbon.  Come to think of it, he was going need some chocolate too.

“So you see Doctor, it is simply impossible for me to convey to you the details of the captain’s interpretative dance as I have sworn my secrecy and as you well know, it would be illogical for me to violate the trust Jim has placed in my hands. And may I say Doctor, your eyes are a particularly enchanting shade of green this evening.” Spock reached out and placed two fingers on Leo’s hand. 

‘Well that’s just fuckin fantastic,’ Bones was livid. Two hours and two pounds of chocolate later and all Bones had to show for his efforts was a fat load of nothing. Upon further reflection Bones figured Spock had been making a pass at him, being drunk and all “emotional” from the chocolate.  At least he thought that’s what Spock meant by touching him and he sure as shit wasn’t about to ask Spock to clarify. So all in all he hadn’t walked away totally empty handed. WAIT, WHAT?

Bones was out of options. OH sure he could go and talk to Sulu, but he just didn’t think he had enough control to not become homicidal as he sat and listened to Sulu wax orgasmic about plants. Check, please!

****

“How goes the case, Sherlock?” Jim teased when he and Bones passed each other in the gym the next night. Bones had just finished his latest coaxing session and was an absolute disaster. His muscles screamed in protest and he was drenched in sweat. Jim on the other hand looked like he’d just stepped off the cover of a magazine, blue eyes dancing happily, not a (stupid) blonde hair out of place. Bones could see the outline of his pecs through Jim’s thin t-shirt. It was also the precise moment Bones’ cock decided to wake up and say ‘HOWDY.’ This was the last straw. If Bones didn’t get his hands and his cock on (in) Jim soon, he’d end up a babbling idiot. Not that he wasn’t already, but Bones was pretty sure he was the only one aware of this fact. He hoped.

“Fuck me in a snow bank.” Bones whispered as he walked away and he swore he could hear Jim laughing.

****

Bones was pacing in his quarters one hour before show time. His heart was beating in his throat and his legendary hands were shaking.

“Leonard, you’re going to be brilliant.” Gaila soothed a hand down his back.

“Cough-cough, I think I’m comin down w’somethin, maybe I should jus’ stay in and try to feel better.”

“So if you’re staying home, that means I can bid for Jim with no competition?”

“It’s a god-dammed MIRACLE, I’m cured. Let’s go.”

****

The shaking in his hands had subsided thanks in part to the beer he had been slowly nursing for the last half hour. Bones had watched Gaila flutter through the room like a butterfly, she had so much grace and natural beauty, he was dammed certain she never had trouble with “corpse hips.”

“Leonard, come sit at the front of the stage with me, Jim’s up next.”

‘Fuck me blind.’ Bones thought, as he got up to follow Gaila. He was already up, so painfully hard in fact he wondered if it wasn’t a good idea to take care of that rather large and burdensome problem before it was his turn to dance. What the hell, he’d been a friggen martyr to his cock for the last three years, what difference could fifteen more minutes make?

They found their seats just as red lights began flashing over the stage. The light was just bright enough to illuminate a tall pole. “Will you please welcome to the stage, Captain Happy Pants himself, James Tiberius Kirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk” Sirens, heralding the arrival of the fire brigade began to blare as the white lights of the Enterprise’s transporter began to swirl around the top of the pole.  “What’s Your Fantasy,” by old time rap artist Ludacris burst forth from the speakers. As Jim materialized, Bones noticed he was dressed as a fireman, helmet and all. Jim slid down the pole with ease and turned to face his adoring audience. It was an understatement to say the entire club was going bananas for the captain, for HIS captain.  Jim’s million watt smile lit up his face as his eyes found Bones in the audience.  Jim began his dance, slowly teasing the fireman’s coat part way off his broad shoulders.

**_I wanna L-L-L lick you from your head to your toes…_ **

Jim slid the jacket completely off his shoulders and as it landed on the floor, Bones’ eyes were glued to Jim’s back. His pale skin was oiled up and glistening in the lights. Jim’s hands were on his own ass as he swiveled his hips, lightly spanking himself. As he pivoted to face forward again, he was right in front of Leo.

**_…And I wanna move from the bed down to the, down to the, to the floor._ **

Jim bounced to the floor looking as if he were going to do military style push-ups. Bones PRAYED he was going to do military style push-ups, but God must have been busy or had a seat in the back of the club because Jim began to furiously fuck the floor. His predatory eyes were on Bones’ the entire time, as a deviant smile played on his lips. Jim had the look of a starving man and Bones was his intended meal.

Bones couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, he could only stare back at Jim helplessly. Jim, thankfully rolled backward and up onto his feet again. Once eye contact was broken Bones managed a shaky breath. Goodbye cruel world, he wasn’t going to survive much more of this. Whose crazy idea was it for James T. Kirk to strip? ‘Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.’

Jim continued to swivel and roll his hips as he moved his way down the stage. His hands were in constant motion, sliding up his stomach, stopping to pinch his nipples, his hands wandering up to caress his neck, then into his hair before starting back down again. Once again reaching the spot on the stage directly in front of Bones, Jim’s right hand slid lower, as he cupped and gently squeezed his obviously aroused cock. Bones saw stars and his vision began to go blurry. He felt Gaila grab onto his arm as she began to vigorously slap the back of his hand.

“Stay with me Leonard, Jim’s not done yet.”

Not done yet?  Not fucking done yet? Bones could tell you who was done at that moment, HE was totally and completely done with this shit. Bones managed to take one more breath, thankfully, before Jim turned himself back around. Bones was staring at his ass as Jim began to rub his hands around the twin globes of perfect flesh. Jim dared one last look over his shoulder at Bones before he reached forward and ripped his pants off revealing skimpy, black boy shorts.

Bones felt his cock twitch hard. He hadn’t come in his pants since back in med school and fuck if he was going to start now. Jim continued to move his ass in front of Bones and that’s when he noticed there was writing across Jim’s shorts. It said “Dammit Jim.” Bones jumped to his feet and was about to vault onto the stage when Gaila and Scotty grabbed him from behind.

“Have a seat laddie,” Scotty laughed, “he’ll be all yours soon enough.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise.” The club was going crazy for Jim. He even had to duck a couple pairs of panties and one very large pair of boxers that were hurled on stage. Jim continued to stare at Bones, he was breathing heavy, but he was still wearing that predatory look on his face. “Okay who’ll start the bidding for this Starfleet hunk at 100 credits?”

Bones turned around to look back at the crowd and it looked like everybody and their brother had their bidding paddles hoisted into the air. The bidding went on at a fast and furious pace around Bones. He noticed Gaila had slipped his own bidding paddle into his hand but he hadn’t yet used it. The current bid was 5000 credits and the man who had placed that bid was leering at Jim. There was no way that mouth-breathing troglodyte was going to win HIS captain. No way, no how, not tonight.

Jim, for his part looked worried. Bones smiled to himself as he saw the panicked look on Jim’s face when Mouth-Breather upped his bid to 5500 credits. Jim’s look of panic was quickly replaced by a look of pleading as he made eye contact with Leo. Now this was something Bones could work with.

Bones stood up, winked at Jim, lifted his paddle into the air and bid 10,000 credits. Jim’s sapphire eyes popped open as a huge grin split his face. The club went silent. Leo turned around to look at his arch-nemesis, silently daring him to bid higher. Mouth-Breather didn’t bite which was a pity because Leo did! “Sold to the late comer in the front row for 10,000 credits.”

“Later comer, my ass.” Bones mumbled.

****

Once Jim was all bought and paid for, Leo made his way backstage to get ready for his performance. He was walking on tip-toe sneaking around hoping like hell he wouldn’t run into any of his crewmates or worse still, his captain. Bones didn’t know what he was so afraid of; after all he had been waiting for a moment like this for three years now. He just needed one moment to show Jim how he felt and it looked like luck was finally smiling his way. Bones had made his bed, now it was time to strip in it!

****

“Would you please welcome to the stage, Doctor Feelgood, Leonard McCoooooooooooy.”

The stage was bathed in darkness, Bones could see the deep blue lights getting brighter and brighter. As the lights continued to come up, Bones could see that Jim was sitting in his vacated seat, between Gaila and Scotty, but it was still too dark to see the look on Jim’s face. Leo moved to lie back down on the messy four-poster bed as he waited for the music to begin.

**_This is a man’s world…_ **

Bones took a deep breath and rolled onto his left side, his head propped up on his left hand. He was wearing an unbuttoned white dress shirt that glowed a bluish-purple under the ultra violet light. He was also wearing tight, black dress pants with the top button undone. His feet were bare. The lights had finally come up enough for Leo to see the look on Jim’s face. The one word that came to Bones’ mind was rapture.

**_This is a man’s world…_ **

As the deep, bluesy song continued to play, Bones pulled himself up to crawl forward on the bed, his eyes on Jim the whole time. Jim’s mouth had dropped open into an ‘O.’ Bones reached the end of the bed and slowly swung his legs around until his feet hit the floor and then began a slow, slow slide forward until only his arms remained on the mattress; his body in a backward plank position. Leo hated every damn crunch he’d performed every day with a passion but now seeing Jim stare hungrily at his abs, made every damn one worth it.

**_But it would be nothing, nothing…_ **

Leo tipped his head backward as his pelvis thrust slowly forward into the air. He could hear the cat calls from the audience and his thrusts picked up speed. Holding himself in position with only his right arm, he swung his left forward, his hand ghosting up his thigh until he reached his cock. Eyes once again burning into Jim’s he gave his painfully hard cock a brief squeeze. The club went crazy. Bones pulled his legs back and pushed himself up onto his feet, his hands rubbing up under his open shirt over his bare chest. Swinging his body to his left, Bones grabbed the bedpost and began to gyrate his hips against it, once again tipping his head back in abandon and slowly licking his lips. Keeping his hands on the post, Bones easily slid down into a crouch, pushing his ass out and giving a couple of thrusts for good measure. He stood back up and pivoted forward, walking toward the end of the stage, his hips swinging, to stop right in front of Jim. Bones winked at Jim and slowly began to shrug himself out of his shirt, turning his body around, giving (Jim) the audience a great view of his ass. Once Bones had his shirt completely off, he balled it up, bent forward and threw it at Jim. He turned quickly, not having the time to look at the reaction on Jim’s face. He could guess what it was though by the roar that went up through the crowd.

Bones made his way back over to the far side of the bed, using his knees to climb up onto the mattress. He began to roll and thrust his hips forward and his hands roamed freely over his stomach and chest. He threw himself forward, on all fours now, his hazel eyes locked with deadly precision onto Jim as he began to gently fuck his hips into the mattress. He alternated hard, quick thrusts with gentle, languorous ones, moving himself forward up the mattress until he could reach the headboard. Reaching out to grab one of the metal slats in both  hands, Bones once again turned his head to look at Jim, who was literally sitting on the edge of his seat, one more inch forward and the highly decorated captain would have landed on the floor. Leo turned back to the headboard, allowing his legs to move backward from his ass, as the instrumental portion of the song built toward (orgasm) crescendo, Bones began to fuck the mattress with almost violent force, his dark hair flying out around his head, again and again and again. Leo was fucking the bed so hard it started to dance across the stage.

He let go of the headboard and slowly cuddled himself back into the mattress, flipping himself over onto his back and then he pulled himself into a sitting position. He quickly got to his feet on the mattress and leapt forward landing in a crouch on the stage. Coming into a full stand, Bones began to undo the zipper of his pants, rolling his hips as his hand moved south. These were actual pants, not the tear-away kind Jim had been wearing. Bones wanted Jim to be able to imagine with perfect clarity how Bones looked when he took off his own pants. Once his zipper was all the way down, he reached in to his pants and began palming his cock. If not for Scotty reaching out to grab him, Jim would have landed on the floor. Bones shimmied himself around so that his ass was facing the crowd, he slowly began to push his pants down his ass, stopping once he reached the tops of his thighs. He pulled his pants up, much to the chagrin of the crowd who let him hear their displeasure and turned back around to face the audience. Leo took a couple of running steps forward before he leapt off the stage, landing lightly on his feet in front of Jim.

Jim was panting, sweat was rolling down the sides of his face and his pupils were dilated with arousal. Bones pushed Jim backward into his seat and leaned forward to finally, FINALLY kiss his captain.  His lips glanced lightly against Jim’s and he could feel Jim hum in appreciation. He licked out his tongue at the seam of Jim’s lips and he could feel Jim smile. ‘Playing hard to get is a bad move Captain,’ Bones thought as he gently nipped on Jim’s lower lip. Jim gasped, his eyes flying open as Bones swept his tongue inside Jim’s hot mouth. Jim tasted like summer peaches and sunshine. He hadn’t tasted nearly enough, when he pulled back as the final beats of the music played out.  He ran his fingers down Jim’s cheek as he turned to walk back to the stage, vaulting himself back up, as the crowd cheered wildly.

“Ladies and gentlemen, let’s hear it one more time for Doctor McCoy.” Once the roar of the crowd died down, the emcee, brought the microphone back up and spoke directly to Jim. “So Captain, let’s save everyone a lot of time and energy. Name your price.”

Jim smiled as he stood up, Bones’ discarded shirt locked in a death grip in his hands. “I’ll match Doctor McCoy’s bid for me, 10,000 credits.”

“Fuck me all the way to the bank.” Bones muttered and couldn’t help smiling at Jim.

“Sold to Captain James T. Kirk, for the bargain price of 10,000 credits.”

Jim ran forward and hopped up on the stage. Reaching back into his pocket, he pulled out his comm, “Kirk to Enterprise.”

“Enterprise here, Captain.”

“Two to beam up, directly to my quarters, Kirk out.”

Bones’ stomach flopped over when the white lights of the transporter swirled around him.   For the first time in his life, Bones wasn’t nervous about his atoms being spread across the galaxy, but was excited about his destination.

****

Bones took a deep breath when he and Jim materialized in total darkness. “Computer, candles, forty percent.” Jim commanded. Suddenly the room was lit by hundreds of floating holo-candles.

Bones gasped at what he saw. In addition to the candles, Jim’s bed was covered in rose petals and two bottles sat on the nightstand, one was champagne the other, lube. “Jimmmm.” Bones breathed out.

Jim was smiling at him, hands shoved in his pockets, as he rocked back on his heels. “What do you think Bones?”

‘I can’t think at all,’ his brain whispered. “It’s amazin Jim, you’re amazin.”

“You’re amazing Bones, where did you learn to dance like that?”

“Gaila told me I had to feel the music in my soul before I could dance to it.”

“And did you feel it Bones, feel it in your soul?”

“Every day for the last three years Jimmy.”

Bones felt his cock harden again as Jim crossed to Bones and traced his hands down his face and neck stopping when they reached Bones’ broad shoulders. “Bonesbonesbonesbones.” Jim was mumbling his name like a prayer. “Waited so long for this, waited so long for you.”

 

Leo rested his hands on Jim’s hips and slowly drew him forward until their bodies were touching from toes to noses.  Bones moved forward to kiss Jim as his hands slid down to Jim’s ass.

Jim gasped into the kiss and began to roughly shove Bones’ pants down, thankfully Bones hadn’t had the chance to do up the zipper or the button. Hallelujah!

“Hold on there darlin, we got all night.”

“Can’t wait Bones, need to be inside you now, right now.

Who was Bones to argue with a direct order from a superior officer? “Aye Captain.”

Bones watched as Jim’s eyes darkened into blue fire. He felt his heart hammer faster as Jim leaned in and kissed Bones hard then dropped to his knees, clutching and grabbing at Bones’ pants in an attempt to get them off. Once Bones was standing in front of Jim in nothing but his silky black boxers, Jim began to run his hands up, Bones calves, to his knees, then slowing to glacial speed as his hands traveled up Bones’ thighs.  “Oh God, oh fuck, Jim please.” Bones pleaded.

Leo jumped as Jim’s hot mouth moved over his silk-encased cock. His head tipped back as Jim continued to rain open-mouthed kisses up and down his length. Finally Jim snaked his tongue out to lick a stripe up the underside of Bones erection. That was nearly his undoing. Leo grabbed the base of his cock and held on tightly. “Jim.” He moaned. “Not gonna last Jim, please baby, please.”

Jim smiled at Bones as he regained his feet. Leo leaned in to kiss Jim again and he felt the other man’s hands on his chest pushing him backward until his legs bumped up against the bed. Bones held his breath as Jim knelt back down to whip off Bones’ silky boxers. “Lie down on the bed, Bones.”

Bones lowered himself onto the bed and watched open mouthed as Jim started to take his shirt off. “Damn dance drove me out of my damn mind Bones.” Jim panted as he undid the button on his pants and reached for his zipper.  “Almost made me come in my pants like a damn horny teenager.” Bones smiled as Jim bent down to take off his shoes and socks.  “All I could think when you were fucking your hips into the mattress, Bones, was MINE. Say it Bones.”

“I’m all yours darlin, always have been, always will be.”

He felt his heart speed up even faster as Jim began to lower his pants to the floor. Leo could see he was still wearing the boy shorts with the words, “Dammit Jim” written across his ass. He could also see that Jim was as rock hard and ready as Bones was.

“Dammit Jim?”

“I needed you to see that I was yours Bones. I could never find the words to tell you, so I figured maybe you could find the words if I wrote them on myself.” With that Jim pushed his personalized underpants down hips and to the floor.

“So beautiful Jimmy.” Bones sighed.

Bones couldn’t help staring as Jim walked back to the bed and climbed up, straddling Bones’ hips.  Jim smiled again as he reached over for the bottle of lube. Bones shivered beneath him as he watched Jim pour the liquid over his fingers.  Jim began to slowly move backward off of Bones, using his non-lubed hand to push Leo’s legs apart. “A little eager, Bones?”

“Jim.” Bones was so far gone, this was the only word he could find.

He felt Jim’s finger circle the entrance to his ass just as he felt Jim’s other hand come up and grasp the base of his cock. “Can’t have you goin off early old man.”

Bones growled as he felt Jim’s finger slip inside of him, he growled again as Jim started working a second finger in to join the first. “Jim, please.”

“Easy Bones, you’re not ready yet.”

“Been ready for years Jim.”

He could feel Jim’s fingers working inside him and saw stars every time Jim brushed against his prostate. “Now, Jim now, please.”

Bones whimpered as he felt Jim’s fingers leave his body, he opened his eyes to see Jim pouring more lube onto his fingers, which he started working onto his cock. He couldn’t breathe when he felt Jim nudge against his ass.

“Love you Bones.” Jim whispered as he began to push himself forward into Leo’s ass.

Bones was beyond words. All he could do was try to remember to breathe and to hold on to Jim.

He felt Jim ease himself back and was about to whine when Jim pushed fully back inside of him. “God Bones. Not gonna last, feels too good.”

“S’okay Jim.” Bones managed a weak smile. Jim began to move with quick measured thrusts, the second one hit Bones’ sweet spot. When Bones howled, Jim began aiming all of his thrusts to that spot. Bones let out a low pitched moan as he came, it occurred to him later Jim never even touched his aching cock. Bones clamping down on Jim’s cock threw him into his own orgasm and he shouted out for Bones as he came. Jim collapsed onto Bones’ chest and it was sometime before he was able to wrap his arms around Jim, his Jim. “I love you too, Jim.”

[](http://postimage.org/)

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story is from "Hot in Herre" by Nelly.
> 
> If you are interested in seeing where the inspiration for Bones' dance came from, you know from a scientific research point of view, it can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asUmdocbhvI
> 
> I also would like to offer my undying gratitude to Kevin Casper for showing me what my good doctor is capable of doing.
> 
> The Genesis Foundation for Children is an actual organization, they are holding a fundraiser here in Boston in March, to the best of my knowledge it is NOT a strip-a-thon. Mores the pity. I loved the name of this charity because of its connection to Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan and Star Trek: The Search For Spock. Those movies involve the Genesis machine and Genesis planet.
> 
> Lastly, I have to send mad props to http://meekobits.tumblr.com/ She is an AMAZING artist who has been feeding my hormone crazed brain with pieces of artwork featuring Stripper Bones and Jim!
> 
> Lastly, a big thank you to ComeOnAugust for this amazing picture of Stripper Jim!!! Thank you so much!


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